Watta Day!

Well, i'm back, and more pissed off than ever, once again its a talltastic tale about oh look, Reigate School...anyways, i'm coming out of French (by the way this story is old but I want to post it anyways HAHAHAH) and this twat jake hassle or I dunno, (his name doest even deserve capital letters...) and minding my own bisness like you do when your walking to another lesson, I suddenly realise that I have forgotten my coat AGGGHHH. So I turn back to where i'm sitting and oh look its ugly ears, (he looks like dumbo) and he's holding my coat... so as he is a chav I don't have a clue what he's saying so I try and translate that, and he's probally saying something like you left your coat here (rough trans.: u left ur coat here u wanka.)

So there I am and he has my coat, and him being annoying and all, all of a sudden thinks that its a football of some sort and kicks it to the other side of the room, oh fo shizzle.
So I say and I quote "Well, that was really clever jake, well done" - end sarcasm there.
And being all chav he says "go on dan, say dat again u fuka" so I get my coat and he comes up to me, and I tell you he has the most stinky breath ever, I mean not only when chavs push up to your face and generally the rest of your body like that you have to take into account that there breath STINKS! So he says whatever the crap chav lingo he says about 5 time, (I sware he got a bit of a stuck record, maybe he couldn't afford a good CD player?) and decides that now I have been gassed with the breath he will take control of my body and magically chuck me out of the room, and into the door, and out into the hall with 500 other eye witnesses (please note that in the same room while this is all going on is are French teacher, well done miss, have a sticker!) and I get pushed some more by the stinky menace and out of the blue (and this is uncalled for) the bitch punches me clean in the fu**ing face... ****ing, b*stard s**tty, mother**cking, bi*ch face!

So, after that happens I have a huge bruise on my face, and not only has it felt like a brick wall has slammed into my but the **cker has run off.
So after the turd has been found, flushed out of a lesson maybe, hold the pun :), I first get to see the most fantastically funny picture of the arse when he was in year 7, ha not smiling now are you! So, he is found, and the head of year gets the story's strait, and low and behold the arsehole has made up some fake story about how I managed to punch him in the stomach...really...anyway so I tell miss and oh goodie, she believes dumbo! WTF... theres like 500 other f**king eye witnesses and they all saw what the f**k happened! WTF...

So in the end the basta*d gets excluded for a day...a day he should get a bloody azbo and get taken to court for all I care he should get expelled all together, the f**king scum who crowd up the (where not the best school in the county, where the best school for behaviour in the whole universe) according to the 10/10 Ofsted report, a fu*king 0/10 would be more realistic, and guess what, the next day, the bit*h shows up again, and sitting right next to me, and as if he has learnt his lesson for nearly knocking all my teeth out...

So in context it was a very s*it day, and all thanks to Jake Hassle or whatever the **ckers name was, thanks... bitch.

"me name iz jack hassle and aye av really large earz a shizzle phone, and r z chav dat aye could juz explode"

Chavs and My F'in Hair!

What is it with people today, they can't keep there hands to themselves! Now as some may know if you have seen my videos I have quite long hair, not very long, quite... Now if you don't know what a Chav is, well basically its one of those idiots that you normally see going along and setting fire to things for no apparent reason and then complaining that there hair is on fire. They have the worst dress sense in the universe and if you look at the picture to the left you will see why.

There the most annoying people on the planet and they spend most of the day annoying and beating up helpless people like you and I because they thought that you looked at them, init.

Then they return to the secret chav layer of Mc Donalds to resume daily habitat or the food chain of mc nuggets. Then they decide to lure round the front of the pound shop near tescos to see if they can nick any 50p chav bling stud ear-rings that are made of plastic and they only came as one set and not two.

Why though, did the atomic bomb go off on all of the world and then get all the people who live on the estate turn into idiots. I mean for example (well its more like for real) But you live in the south of England, and in the south you can understand what most people are saying unlike up north in bath or Birmingham where they speak the equivalent of a monkey about to die... But they come up to you with a half idiot face half WTF! And they come up to me and as I am well spoken unlike the chavs and keep in mind that we are in the south, WHY DO YOU SPEAK SO POSH?...... WHY DO YOU SPEAK SO POSH! How stupid can you get, why they can't pronounce there (T)'s and instead of using vocabulary they go (LIKE) every 5 seconds, they think that I am posh, well I have to say I probably am to them, the bastards probably can't even wipe there arses and then go and wash there hands (like many people in are school do not wash there hands) because they think that they might be to posh. I mean yesterday, naming no names J**E W***S! Who my PE forum teacher made me sit next to... and for no reason whatsoever right out the of the blue, around 5 to 10 minuets (I was reading a book) of sitting next to him, he keeps looking at me, and stuff like that and out of the blue, stabs my hand with a pen!

WTF! I can't tolerate that kind of stuff, if someone just did that! So I go and tell the teacher, and he pulls saying no names J**E W***S! Out of the classroom and into the hall, he then goes onto say what happened and apparently saying no names J**E W***S! Said and I quota 'He kept on, like kicking me, like and, like he kept on, like poking me, like and, like, like so that's why I stabbed him. WTF! What a ****ing lie! And then after shaking hands with the bastard (note to self, get detox to poison his skin) I come right back in and saying no more names oh ALEX C****N, or let me say A*******R C****N! He starts chortling GRASS! GRASS! GRASS!....... Grass, humm, well I don't know what grass has to with anything that just happened but its another very stupid chav lingo for YOU TOLD ON AN IDIOT... and I think, well saying no names A******R C****N, what you you do if you got stabbed with a knife in to your hand? Oh I bet you would tell or maybe ever DIE! Oh yes all the chavs all dieing at once sounds like the best idea ever invented by god for that matter and so it shall be told. That as said my Jay Foreman, 'Moon Chav's, chavs on the moon, in a berberry spaceship, chavs on the moon.'

PS - About my hair, everyone keeps pulling it, and aside the best efforts they keep doing it, do you suggest smacking them? But I really do feel like that right now!

EDIT:-----
If names have * though them, that person has requested to have the names taken down.

Action Adventurs and Everything More...

Well, this seeing as the first ever blog post should be interesting, so I suppose I should talk about school as it engulfs my life in one big pit that will kill us all. But today the fire bell went off. Now I know that may not sound very interesting at all really, but it was just the fact that this the third time this week. Now my school isn't prone to having safety drills all the time, in fact are headmaster Mr. Caine (aka Demon Headmaster) would probably want to see all the chavs at are school go up in flames while on fire wearing black eating dates. (Seeing as Reigate School, in the early days known as Woodhatch School but then changed, now has chavy estate housing where all the 12 - 16 year old girls have a baby in one arm and a bucket of KFC chicken in the other while standing on her head insulting someone and watching Big Brother at the same time. But anyway, after other emphasizing everything back to the story.

The fire bell always seems to go off one time or another by some student every term, but this time, three times, 3! And how stupid was that person, 'OHHH, I THINK I SHALL WASTE EVERY ONES BREAK TIME, SO I WILL HAVE FUN, OH WAIT THAT WASTES MY TIME TOO! **** I HAVE ALREADY DONE IT.'

No. No. So that just winds the hell out of me, why do that, why waste people valuable time. I mean I know its school but why, what is the point? The last one of the fire bells was supposedly set off with a peice of dairly cheese. But who knows what is next.

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(PLEASE NOTE!!!! - All views are represented of the one person, if you feel offended, don't bother reading this blog!)
(ONE MORE THING: I know that not all people who live on a estate are chavy lowlifes, there are some people who are ok, or had to go there to live. So apoligys to anyone who is offened)